Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Letting Go At Lammas, For A Richer Harvest To Come

After an incredible few days away at Dragonrise Witchcamp, it was suddenly just me and my dog alone in the woods back home, carrying on the work which had begun.

I build a fire with my voice,

flames dancing inside my body.

For courage and life.

Every step along the oak trail

path of ancient steadfast friends,

tears falling,

my will grows stronger.

The forest opens to me with offerings

as if it knows better than myself

the work I came here to do.

Every leaf whispers 'it is time'.

Every step deeper into the forest

whispers a louder goodbye.




And finally, it is real.

Cailleach kneels beside me,

passing me acorns from a fallen oak.

For the closure of a relationship that seeded 20 yrs before it fell.

Goodbye to it's sadness.

Goodbye to it's pain.

Goodbye to it's anger.

Goodbye to it's hate.

Goodbye to it's grieving.

Goodbye to it's hurt from untrue stories told.

Goodbye to it's sex and love, which made a child, which made a world.

Dropping it all into the earth,

a burial for a rich compost.

Sealed securely closed.

Cailleach passes me seven fresh green oak leaves:

Come renewal.

Come acceptance.

Come transformation.

Come honouring.

Come healing.

Come truth.

Come sex and love, whole to myself.

Later, I go to a house, carrying flowers.

To lay down the burden I have been holding on to,

by turning it into the gift

genuinely and graciously given.

Finding the beauty in the discomfort.

Releasing myself.

Renewing my heart.

Ready for what is to come.


This would not have happened without the wonderful and life changing experience that was Dragonrise Witchcamp

So much of the inspiration and strength came from the camp story of Cailleach and from the teachers during pathwork, for example the practice of 'finding beauty in discomfort'.

Sustaining and empowering songs which are very actively helping the process are from a CD sung by the truly amazing Peti Songcatcher, available here

In particular I feel so much love and gratitude to my affinity group at camp: Woody, Sass, Eric and Peti. You have all helped me to shift a big block in my life, and I feel so much happier now! Amazing to consider that this time one week ago we had not yet met. We are the land! We are the land! We are the best!

XXX Blessed Be XXX

Sunday, 19 February 2017

Eight Years

Four years ago I made a little film to get through the difficult February days that still felt so raw. 
It totally absorbed me and helped a lot:
For My Brother

Now another four years have passed! Another February 19th and 20th shuddering across the rift in the fabric of our personal universe.

As always I walk along the beach, empty my thoughts into the waves, listen to them breaking on the stones. 

These words have been in my mind today, found recently on a card designed by artist Freya Ete.
Freya Ete


I tell myself a story, how there was a benevolent tide that night, soothing and comforting. 
Gathering you safely away from the clutches of the demons you fought with. 
Not so much bracing, as embracing. 
Not so much drowning you, as drowning your sorrows.
Gathering the beauty of you.
Gathering with kindness, 
gathering into the warm shining arms of family 
who had passed before, gathering you home. 

I tell myself a story, how you were in the company of the stars above you, guiding and reassuring.
Lighting your way with such a welcoming glow you could never be lost again.
Not so much alone in the dark, as igniting your own spark.
Not so much dying, as flying, high and free.
Knowing the beauty of you.
Knowing how much you were loved,
how love will always be gathered in the folds of the hearts 
you left behind on the shore, keeping you safe.

'All the most beautiful things are gathered by the tide'